Recent research shows there are millions of people who would describe themselves as born again but who no longer attend church. These people may have one or more of the following experiences.

I recently came across a brilliant book for "Not in Church Christians". If you have ever felt out of place in church because you want the church to return to what you first read about in the Acts of The Apostles then you must read WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOD WAITING FOR by Ross Paterson

 Burned out - have you done too much? Have you been too involved? Have you invested all of your time and energy into your church? For what reason?

For the same reasons that you can get burned out in your regular job you can also get burned out by Christianity. In a regular job we are starting to learn about the psychological pressures we may face from our bosses and work colleagues. This pressure is not always spoken aloud but your organisation may be very competetive and you have to play by those rules to survive. Or it may be a caring organisation and you can get burned out by getting too involved and caring too much. You may be working with lots of younger people and feel you have to work twice as hard just to prove how good you are. None of these things are wrong unless they become an issue for you and lead to your personal life and focus becoming unbalanced.

Church can put similar pressures on you. There may not be enough people to do all the different jobs in churrch. You may feel you are the best person to to that task.

 

 No Job Satisfaction - we often lead successful busy lives in our everyday work lives. Church can create many problems for this type of personality who thrives on responsibility and decision making. Churches appoint people who tend to stay in the same role for years (and years and years). In a normal job situation you can apply for a promotion or a sideways move and often friends will encourage your ambition. Church does not work like that. You may find you organisational and leadership skills are unrecognised. Sometimes it feels that the brightness of your smile, your generosity, your hospitality count more than ability.

For men it is church where they often find a glass ceiling is in place as many tasks are performed by women. In some ways church can be compared with the older system of local government where people were rewarded with promotion and responsibility because of their length of service rather than their ability.

The other issue is no one seems to retire in church they just die! As the elderly live longer and can take part in church life for many more years than previous generations we find that some churches are nor recognising the need to make way for the younger generations. If they do not start to make way then in a few years time this generation will have become fed up of waiting and left the church. This will be an ongoing problem as this issue will not go away in the future.

 

 Bored - bored by the music. Bored by the message. Heard it all before. Many, many times. No one is saying anything new. It can be similar to watching the same news for a year. Or watching the same soap episode for ever and it never changing.

Its true many churches are stuck in a time warp of salvation or just getting through from one week until next Sunday. That is no way to live. In the world at large that type of living in contributing to the increase in mental illness affecting so much of the Western World. So the question also must be are you so bored in church that you are depressed? Or to look at it a different way are you correct to be bored in your church BECAUSE IT IS BORING?

A possible solution depends on you state of mind.

If you are bored of church but still excited by Christianity then talk to your church leaders as they may also be bored with what is happening. You may bring a prophetic word to them. Although in some churches they would just consider you a trouble causer.

Don't Fit In. Sometimes this is a social or class thing. This is fairly easy to spot. Look around the church and does everyone seem to have come out of the same mold. Do they think alike. If you are very different then you have two choices. You either change to become like them or you find a church which is more like you are that you will be willing to change to fit in.

Some churches are very poor at welcoming in strangers and strange is what you may feel. Give it a few weeks to see if this improves. Please remember that not everyone in church is an extrovert and it may just be that they are quiet and reserved and wanting to give you space.

COMMENT I do not know where you do your weekly shopping but church can be a bit like that. I can go to two branches of the same supermarket and find one pleasant and friendly while the other store is one I only go to in emergency. Society has changed so much in this last fifty years that church needs to catch up. We are more mobile. Many of us work 20 miles away. We travel miles to shop. We frequently change jobs and allegance to shops so why is it wrong to 'shop' around for a church. One survey suggests that people stay in a church for about 13 years. You know the saying about stats so I am not sure how true this is as many people I know seem to stay about 7 years. So is it so wrong to check out a number of churches before making this sort of committment.

Kids have grown up - for many of us we have kept going to church just to encourage our own children. When they become teenagers it becomes harder and harder to encourage their attendance. Some may make the break with church when they leave for university of a job outside the area. What is there left in church for us?

A solution - perhaps the church was the correct one for our children's needs but nolnger meets our own needs. Why not visit other churches without leaving your existing church. Have you some friends in another church as it may be that you need to feed your own desire for adult company with similar backgrounds and interests. See also "No longer emotionally involved"

Stuck with sorting out the building and not evangelising. Some people have spent so much time of the physical problems of a church that they have become barren and their personal spiritual life has collapsed. It is time to give up those tasks. Experience has taught me that even though it looks as though there is no one to take your place ALWAYS some one steps forward to do the job. If you left or died and could go back in a few months you would find someone doing the same job and you would have been almost forgotten. Think about people from work who were indispensible and then left. After three months you struggle to remember that they had worked at the same company.

No longer emotionally involved - as with any relationship there have to be give and take, laughs and tears, committment and involvement. Often when we become a Christian it can be an emotional ride (a good one). Over the years we may have been fortunate to be involved or attend some great Christian events which have built us up and given us a storehouse to draw upon when times have be barren in our own church or Christian life. And yet there can be a time when we have nothing left to sustain us and this church is no longer providing the emotional ties and support we need.

 

Is it wrong then to leave this church? The danger is that sometimes we will draw too close a comparison to a marriage between the believer and the church. That is error. The Holy Bible staes clearly that our relationship is with Jesus and so any comparison of marriage should be of our relationship with Him (Jesus) and not with any one church.

 

Cannot find a new church following breakdown of a relationship - churches currently appear to have double standards when accepting people over the age of 25. If you are a woman you will be welcomed and accepted no matter what went wrong with any previous relationships or marriage. If you have children the father will often become the boogie man who is in the wrong.

If you are a man some churches are not as accomodating and will judge you as the guilty party - without any evidence or understanding of your situation.

If you are a Christian man the situation can be even worse as people look on you as you should know better because the Bible teaches that marriage is forever it must be your fault.

Lack of Interest in Politics = Lack of Interest in Religion. Politicians are often saying that the general public no longer has much interest in politics. They are often trying to get us to take an interest and vote. Is it any different with churches. Perhaps the reasons people have given up on politics and politicians are the same reasons that people have given up on the church and clergy?

I do not believe people are apathetic to the state of the country or what is happening throughout the world. In fact I would suggest it is just the opposite. Otherwise why would we have so many news channels keeping us informed and interested. Remember news channels are commercial organisations who have to justify their existence and while they may have a particular slant to the way they report news they do report it, and lots of it.

The general public has lost patience with party politics and self seeking MPs. There is a proposal to reduce the number of MPs which will mean that one MP will represent even more people. That will mean the general public has less opportunity to know their MP or to make requests for help or challenge some of the things being done in the name of the people by the government.

Are churches and clergy any different? They also seek to serve their community. Do the clergy include the people in their decisions? Or do they adopt the same attitude of government of "We know best. We know what God is saying". In the 21st century people do not have the same respect or fear of the clergy thatexisted in the past. In the same way the general public is no longer impressed or intimitated by MPs, Doctors or Teachers.

Churches and Clergy need to take a good look at what they are doing in their churches and in the wider community. Are they leading their people or are they still telling their people what to think, how to behave and what to do? The churches which will grow and you may feel happiest in are the chuches with leaders who lead, who are inclusive and who recognise that talents, abilities and spiritual wisdom of laity. Remember "we are a royal priesthood". That is all who believe!